Is Etiquette Necessary?
I often get comments that etiquette is a snobbish practice not meant for everyone. Such as, which fork or knife to use when fine dining, and which glass to drink red or white wine from. However, etiquette is simply about socially acceptable behaviours in our daily dealings within and outside our homes.
Understanding the rules of etiquette and applying them appropriately to different situations helps us practice good manners and mindfulness towards others, and avoid offending when possible. It also helps prevent embarrassing ourselves in a social situation requiring a skillset that everyone in our company might have adopted but us. Essentially, etiquette is a useful guide to navigating everyday life.
Here are a few examples of how etiquette applies to our daily lives:
Bad Days and Bad Moods
We all experience bad days when we want to be anything but kind and respectful to the people around us. Etiquette reminds us that having a bad day or a negative experience does not justify being disrespectful or grumpy towards everyone we come in contact with. Instead, we are to be mindful of how we interact with others, and if possible, take some time away until we can be positive again.
Party Rules
Not everyone is outgoing, however accepting an invitation to a party means we are committing to make an effort to socialise. Showing up and heading straight for food and drinks without acknowledging anyone won’t cure us from our reserved nature. Instead wearing a smile and having a good posturehelps in boosting our confidence. By scanning the room, we are better able to locate a familiar face, someone sitting alone, or a small group we would be comfortable mingling with. This could also help form new meaningful relationships that we otherwise would not have found.
The Rules of Conversation
If you have recently been through an illness and a friend of a friend asks how you are feeling, being etiquette savvy can help you navigate the conversation. You will know more instinctively how much detail to go into in comparison to what you would share with your close friends. You can simply state that you are on the mend and provide an example, such as having resumed your exercise routine.
Additionally, when someone at a basketball game or community meeting is curious about a family member or mutual acquaintance, etiquette reinforces what is considered appropriate information to share about them. In most cases, less is more. Simply stating that “Jack is enjoying school/work” is sufficient until he can share his own story.
Personal Space
Some people are extremely sensitive to touch because ofpersonal or cultural reasons. Understanding etiquette helps to read body language and better understand how to interact with people from different cultures appropriately. We can draw one’s attention in a way that demonstrates respect; for example, if someone angles their body slightly away from us, we will know to maintain a polite distance and mirror their actions for cues on how to interact comfortably.
Although etiquette may be taught as a set of rules to follow in different settings, it is fundamentally a tool to instil confidence as we consider others in our daily lives.
