College Roommate Etiquette
The experience of leaving home for college or university as high school graduates, to be thrust into situations living with strangers, can be both exciting and challenging. As much as housing departments try their best to match roommates perfectly, it is up to the students to make their time together memorable, or at a minimal liveable.
Most parents do their best to prepare their children to successfully navigate the world outside of the shelter of their homes. They may teach them how to keep their living spaces neat and tidy, how to be considerate about their volume when watching tv or listening to music, and even how to host a party without inconveniencing the rest of the household. But can they ever be fully prepared?
As new students concern themselves with class schedules and grades, their conduct in their new shared home sometimes gets overlooked. A few guidelines to help them figure their way around could be essential to nurturing a positive roommate experience. Here are some suggestions to consider that might help ease into this new stage of life. These can serve as a quick reference when students are confused or unsure of what a particular situation requires:
Introduce yourself — This may sound obvious, but it is important to introduce yourself to your new roommate(s) as it sets a tone for the relationship. You can make a quick introduction as you move in. Once settled, share a little more about yourself with the person you will be spending a whole school year with. This is also the best time to establish boundaries.
Share your class schedule — Some students work best later in the day and can easily pull an all-nighter studying, which could be challenging when sharing a space with a roommate who has to attend classes early. For this relationship to work both parties have to be flexible, respectful and supportive of each other. Sharing each other’s class schedules can help establish basic rules around noise and quiet hours. It is also important to communicate each other’s study styles, as some people study well with sounds around them, while others prefer total silence.
Be mindful when entering the room/apartment — College/university students sometimes take much needed naps during the day, so be mindful of a napping roommate by not talking loudly on the phone or being heavy footed.
Create shared bathroom rules — Not only do you need to discuss shower times, it is also important to allocate space for toiletries and towels. Avoid occupying the entire bathroom counter space and medicine cabinets. Don’t make the bathroom a personal sanctuary. Try to spend as little time as possible in there.
Cleaning schedule — It is important to have a cleaning schedule for your shared common areas, except for the bathroom and kitchen, which is best cleaned after each use. This is necessary as people have varying definitions of what constitutes a clean and tidy space, and how often it should be maintained.
Discuss hosting rules — It is very likely that you and your roommate will have different social lives. Some people are naturally social and make friends easily, while others are more introverted and may have smaller groups of friends, or prefer to be alone. Discuss with your roommate before inviting friends over for dinner, parties and sleepovers. It is important to remember that the people you have over are your friends, not necessarily your roommate’s.
Ask before you eat — Just because you have run out of cereal or milk, and you happen to like your roommate’s cereal, doesn’t mean you get to reach for it in their absence. Ask and you might be surprised that your roommate doesn’t mind sharing their food with you. Alternatively, if you and your roommate find that you like many of the same foods, it may be worthwhile splitting the bills on some groceries to make them accessible to both of you at will.
Don’t gossip — Over time you might discover some things about your roommate that you don’t particularly like. Please do not talk about them behind their back. Talk to them instead. This way you will be able to resolve a lot of issues with them before they get out of control.
Get to know your roommate — With a little bit of effort and interest you can get to know your roommate well. Just communicate with an open mind and heart and who knows, you might find that you have so much more in common.
Adhere to your roommate agreement — Don’t ignore the roommate agreement. Some schools provide one to establish ground rules from the beginning. If your school does not have one, collaborate with your roommate to make up your own and abide by it. This will make your life as a student more bearable and even enjoyable. When issues come up, it will give you peace of mind to know you have a ready document to reference.
Having a good relationship with your college/university roommate(s) might play a significant role in shaping your educational experience and your career. Not every roommate is going to be a lifelong friend, and that’s okay. If a friendship bond is created, then that’s a bonus for all concerned. So, take the time to shape your living situation and create the home environment you want. This will be an opportunity to learn more about yourself away from your formative influences i.e., parents.
Enjoy this new adventure and have a successful school year.
