The Power of Inclusivity
If you have been the new kid in class or neighbourhood, you know how unnerving it can be. People have formed strong friendships and clusters that you somehow have to break through to find your place in the group. How do you make your mark? How do you even begin to forge bonds?
When I was in grade school, my family relocated. My parents kept my sister and me in our old school for a while. However, after a few weeks of commuting, they decided it made more sense for us to be transferred to a school closer to our new home.
My sister and I had not made any friends at the new school, so we spent most break-times together until my teacher had the brilliant idea to bring our arrangement to an end. As an experienced educator, she understood the value of each of us interacting with our classmates and the social benefits we would gain from it. She gently nudged my classmates to reach out and include me in their activities to help move her plan along. One girl, in particular, introduced herself to me, and I was thrilled when our many chats revealed our shared love for books. When we started talking about the books we had read, or those we were planning to read, it was as if time stood still. Sometimes we spent our break periods in the school library enjoying these books. This became one of the highlights of my interactions with this particular classmate.
Before long, I made friends with more students faster and more quickly than I had anticipated when I first moved schools. Class-time became less awkward for me as I could look over to a friend in any corner of the room and share a smile with them. Before, I had my eyes glued to the front of the class and did not make any eye contact with the other kids. I can certainly say I looked forward to school knowing that I would have fun with my friends. I appreciate my teacher, who understood the value of being included and having friends other than my sister. It truly elevated my elementary experience.
We need to teach the young ones in our lives to be aware of other kids and be inclusive of them. When they have met people and established friendships, it might be easier and more comfortable for them to stay within their clusters and not notice those around them. Here are a few directions we can steer our young ones in for them to be more inclusive:
Introducing themselves to the new kid in class and briefly talking about their interests. In sharing their interests, they might find out that they have more in common with this person than anticipated.
Inviting the new kid to play or joining the kid sitting by themselves in the cafeteria for lunch. Both people can benefit from having a new friend to share a set of hobbies outside of school.
Discussing the impact of discreet social interactions. Young people tend to whisper in their friends’ ears to share a private piece of information or share an opinion they don’t want to be heard. Doing so in the presence of another kid might come across as gossiping. This can be hurtful even if the comment is not targeted at anyone within their company.
Understanding other people without judgement or bias. Judging others based on their family circumstances or dynamics has no place in our children’s lives and should be discouraged. Instead, we can encourage them to get to know the next person for who they are and treat them with kindness regardless of their differences.
Resolving conflicts. As difficult as it might be when we teach our young ones the value of resolving disagreements respectfully, this can be achieved. Children can learn to disagree without calling others names or putting them down.
Teaching our young people these simple tips might make a difference in their social skills now and later on in life. At the same time, someone else also benefits from the joy of having a friend. Let us also be examples to them by being inclusive within our communities. By befriending the new family down the street or the new colleague at work, we can show our children that inclusivity is relevant for all.
