What’s Wrong with my Shoes?

In the Fall of 2019, my daughter received an invitation to attend a wedding in France the following February. The enclosure card provided directions to the venue and the colour palette for the wedding guests. With the invite received at the tail end of summer, finding an outfit in blush or nude posed a challenge. She finally entrusted the task to a reputable seamstress who didn’t disappoint. Her resolve to adhere to the colour code rather than give up turned out to be a wise decision, as every guest was dressed similarly on the day, and she surely would have stood out had she been dressed any different.

On the flip side, a high school student who failed to meet the dress code for his graduation ceremony almost missed the opportunity to celebrate his academic success. His school’s graduation dress code for male students was a white dress shirt and a tie, dark dress pants and dark dress shoes. An emphasis was made on “no athletic shoes.” This particular student, however, arrived wearing black leather sneakers with white soles. As the shoes were mostly black, he was fully within the perimeters of the school’s graduation dress code, right?

Unfortunately for him, the school representative standing at the door did not think so and would not let him into the convention center. The student was regrettably outside, pacing up and down, trying to come up with a solution with his classmates inside. Fortunately for him, one of his teachers spotted him, and after hearing of his student’s predicament, the teacher took off his shoes for the student to use. I can only imagine the kind of looks the shoeless teacher received as he took his seat with the rest of those in attendance. The incorrectly dressed student was grateful for this teacher; however, he could have saved himself a lot of trouble if he had stuck to the dress code.

Ideas of appropriate attire can be found throughout history and in all cultures around the world. We have come to expect the military, police, fire departments, doctors and nurses, and professional sports team to dress to a certain standard. Businesses and schools with uniforms or standards of dress use dress codes to communicate a message about their purpose, core beliefs and image.

A dress code requirement might seem inconsequential, yet it should not be ignored when mentioned on invites. How we respond to a dress code when we have been encouraged to follow one could influence how we are perceived. The closer we stay to the code, the more we are thought of as agreeable and respectful. When we stray away from it, and noticeably so, we can be perceived as disrespectful. There might be instances were circumstance makes it impossible to adhere to a dress code fully. When we find ourselves in such situations, it is best to communicate it with the host, and a viable solution might be possible.

The next time we encounter a dress code and wish to avert any embarrassment, let us adhere closely to it - or clear up any questions ahead of time.