Etiquette At Home
Our family members are typically the people who know us best, so we don’t need to impress them. This makes it easy for us to take them for granted and overlook exercising good manners around them and towards them. Growing up, My mother reminded my siblings and me that charity begins at home. She was adamant that we had to learn how to treat each other well first before we could successfully do so outside the home. Here are a few key lessons my mother taught me that I believe are important in families today.
Acknowledge Your Family
I grew up in a home where we were taught to acknowledge each other. Saying “good morning” when we first woke up, “good afternoon” if we had not seen each other for a while during the day, or “good night” before bed was standard practice in our home. This routine created a pleasant atmosphere at home and helped us tap into each other’s moods. If anything was amiss with any one of us, a family member was always the first to know and help out if needed.
Be Considerate
My mother taught us the importance of looking out for each other. This lesson was always reinforced with the small daily details that we would not see as impactful. For example, when sharing a treat or a meal, we were each encouraged to refrain from always being the one who took the last piece. My mother would gently remind us that we needed to take turns so that someone else in the house could appreciate having the last piece.
Don’t Help Yourself to Other People’s Things
Just because I liked my sister’s earrings, it did not mean I could borrow them without her knowledge. This rule applied to everything else any other family member owned. Tempting as it may have been to go through a sibling’s belongings and mark out our favourites, we were encouraged to avoid that temptation and show respect for each other’s stuff. This taught us to communicate and ask politely for an item we liked in someone else’s wardrobe. If they gave it to us, we took it with respect and left the area in the state that we found it.
Have Polite Conversations
Being polite does not mean being stuffy. We can have polite and uplifting conversations with those under the same roof, and this practice draws us closer. In my childhood home, this meant being able to tease and joke with each other without hurting each other’s feelings and using polite language when telling our stories. As an adult, I have appreciated how this skill has helped me navigate personal and professional circles with relative ease as I balance being witty and polite.
Practice Apologizing
Our homes are a practice ground for life in the outside world. It is easy to be snarky or plain rude with those we spend a lot of time with. When we do so, an apology is always appreciated. Growing up, when a disagreement would ensue, we were encouraged to apologize to each other genuinely. This helped the offender take responsibility for their actions and allowed the offended to accept an apology graciously. My adult siblings and I are now pretty good at apologizing and resolving disagreements respectfully.
Help Out Around the House
As we all live in the same space, it is respectful of everyone to pick up after themselves and to help out with age-and-ability-appropriate household chores. Younger family members tend to enjoy being part of the team and given small responsibilities such as picking up toys off the floor or throwing scrap pieces of paper in the recycling bin. Older family members also find it easier to pull their weight when they see their peers contributing to the work. By sharing the load, I found that doing my chores was much more enjoyable, and the memories make for great stories with my siblings today.
Let us use our homes as safe training grounds for positive behaviour. By respecting and considering our family members, we prepare ourselves for life outside those we share our family structures with. Etiquette basics such as showing consideration and sharing public spaces respectfully come more naturally, and we are better members of our community for it.
