9 Questions to Avoid
Conversations are a normal part of our daily lives that we take part in without a second thought. They help us create relationships with those around us. For those who are good conversationalists, it is a no-brainer to carry on a conversation even with strangers; yet for others, this can be a nail-biter.
For those to whom conversing doesn’t come naturally, a common solution to managing this ordeal is by asking questions. However, not all questions are created equal. Some encourage great conversations, while others may bring all socializing to a halt. There are also questions we wish had never been asked. These cause unnecessary embarrassment and may steal our confidence for future conversations. Here are some of those we should avoid asking:
“Your outfit looks lovely! How much did you pay for it?”
Discussions around money make people feel uncomfortable, and most would rather not discuss it. A compliment will suffice.
“Where do you live?”
Some people may not want to share this detail with people they are not particularly close to. This could be because they are embarrassed by their neighbourhood, especially when in the company of those from upscale areas.
“Which college/university did you attend?”
Not everyone has a college or university education due to different circumstances in their lives. It’s best to get to know the person for who they are and not their academic credentials.
“Are you still single?”
I once heard someone being asked this very question and their response was: “I will stop being single once you find me someone to marry.” Ouch! This is a particularly sensitive question that should be avoided as much as possible.
“You’ve been together for some time now. When are you getting married?”
This is between the two people in a relationship and a subject that should be left alone by the rest of us.
“How come you don’t have any children?”
Not everyone would like to be a parent, while others might be unable to. The response to this question might leave us kicking ourselves.
“Where is your son’s mum/dad?”
We could be asking this question to someone who has recently gone through a painful separation and opening that wound might not be pretty for all concerned.
“What did your mother/father die of?”
Losing a loved one is tough enough. Being asked as to the cause of death is pushing the envelope and insensitive. It is best practice simply to pass our condolences.
“How old are you?”
There was a time when people, especially ladies, kept their ages close to their chests. Times have changed and more people have become comfortable opening up about their ages. It only takes a simple Google search to find out the age of someone in public office or a celebrity. Yet there are still others, however, who are not as comfortable and the rest of us should be respectful and not press them on the issue.
We can never go wrong when we focus on shared interests such as books, food, restaurants, movies and music. Being good listeners will help us delve deeper into discussions and discover just how interesting those around us are. Who knows? We may engage in a conversation that would lead to a lifelong friendship.
Happy conversing!
