Refresher on Mealtime Etiquette

I was recently introduced to a caterer who is well celebrated in her circles. My friends and colleagues who have tasted her dishes could not stop singing her praises and spoke of her “to die for cooking” whenever an opportunity arose. It came as a constant surprise to them when I mentioned that I had never, in fact, tasted her marvellous creations. They patiently helped me recall some events that I had attended, and it turns out that I had unknowingly had her dishes on many occasions and could attest, with those around me, of her amazing talents. Her meals are delicious.

I was lucky enough to have an audience with her, which gave me an insight into her work. As most of her catering is for big events, she usually serves her dishes buffet style. She expressed to me the joy she feels watching people choose what to eat and then enjoy their food choices; she also shared some disappointments that she has when she is out working at these events. She gets rather frustrated when people dish more food than they are able to finish.  The example she gave is when someone helps themselves to two pieces of chicken breasts only to eat one. Because of the effort she puts into her cooking; she takes it to heart when people waste food. She believes it makes more sense for someone to help himself or herself to a second plate if needed. Although this doesn’t mean that someone has to clean up his or her plate, leaving a morsel is acceptable.

Because of her work, she gets to meet a lot of people from different walks of life, and it shocks her when she notices that some people are challenged by which knife and fork to use for different dishes. Place settings can be dizzying, though they don’t have to be. As soon as one is seated at the table, a quick study of the placement of the silverware should give an idea of how many courses will be served. When using silverware, the rule of thumb is always to start from the outside and work inwards.

The bread and butter plate is placed to the left with the butter spreader placed on the plate. Water and wine glasses are always to the right above the silverware. When the salad knife and fork are closest to the plate, it is an indication that salad will be served before dessert. This is to help cleanse our palate so that there are no competing flavours in our mouths as we get to enjoy our dessert. The fork and spoon placed above our plates are always for dessert.

We also discussed how difficult it could be to communicate our eating and drinking preferences and the confusion surrounding the passing of food. When wine or any other beverage is being served, and we choose not to have it, it is not appropriate to cover the glass with our hand. Instead, when the server approaches, a light touch of the glass with our fingertips will do. Wine is usually served to match the food.

When the breadbasket is placed in front of us, we are to offer it to the person to our left first and then pass it to the person to our right after we have helped ourselves.

If you find yourself in a situation in which you have forgotten the basic rules of dining, observe those around you and follow their lead. In doing this, you will err on the side of caution each time. If you make any mistakes, they would only be those that have been made in error by our host/hostess and fellow guests that will help us blend in acceptably rather than stand out for lack of knowledge.