Lighten Burden with Appreciation

A proud grandmother was smiling from ear to ear as she shared with me the nine days she had spent with her four grandchildren. She has a tradition of spending time with them over summer so that her children can go on vacation with their spouses and enjoy grown-up time. I wondered how she and her husband could joyfully spend nine days with the grandchildren when they are now empty nesters. Their energy level is for sure not what it was when they were raising their own children. The answer to my question came as she proudly told me how disciplined her grandchildren are. Her exact words were, “They are such good kids, they are well raised.”

This was in stark contrast with what another frustrated grandmother once voiced to me about her own grandchildren. She loudly protested how her children were raising her grandchildren so differently from how she had raised them. Her biggest annoyance was the ingratitude displayed by them. Sadly this grandmother had come to a point in her relationship with her grandchildren, where she wondered if it was worth doing anything nice for them at all.

This must have been the frustration my mother had with my siblings and me from time to time. I remember being given something and having my mother call me back as I was walking away with her hand stretched out, ready to receive something from me. When I looked at her in confusion, she would simply ask for me to give back what she had just given. Naturally, I would ask why. Her response was, “You don’t need it.” It dawned on me after a few of those incidents that my mum wasn’t asking me to give back what she had given to me, she was asking for acknowledgement. All I needed to say was, “thank you.” I later learnt that this was because she did not want me to have a sense of entitlement. She gave me something because she wanted to, and it was proper for me to appreciate what I had been given.

How many of us, after having given a gift to someone, or sending it through someone else, have wondered if it ever got to the intended recipient because we never heard from them? Gifts are given as a way to show our love, support, and appreciation for those we love. Sometimes gifts are given as an acknowledgement of how hard an individual has exerted themselves to achieve certain goals. It has been said that because we are a time deprived society, it is vital to recognize the time it has taken someone to go out of his or her way to pick out a gift. Gifts are also a sign of acknowledging our relationships with each other. We mustn’t put in jeopardy our relationships with our loved ones by not showing gratitude to them.

I enjoy hosting my friends, and they always impress me with the consideration they have for the time and effort put into making our time together as enjoyable as possible. Without fail, as soon as they leave my house, they send me text messages thanking me for the time spent together and also letting me know how much they value our association. The burden of offering our time and resources to others is lightened when we know we are appreciated.

I have a young friend who plays hockey and was once privileged to go and watch him play. I knew that he appreciated that I had taken the time to go and watch him; however, his mother made sure that he acknowledged this verbally. As soon as the game was over and his team started heading to the change room, his mother nudged him to head my way and thank me for being there. Since then, I have noticed that whenever I show an act of kindness to him, he stops and says, “thank you.” His mom has undoubtedly done an excellent job of teaching her boys to value what family and friends do for them.

Next time we receive a gift or are invited to the theatre or simply to play, let us not forget to say “thank you.” When we do this, we will be invited again and again, and family and friends will enjoy blessing our lives even more.