Janet was leisurely driving around town on a beautiful day when she noticed a new hotel in town. She had no idea when it was built as it was in an area that she rarely frequents. Attracted to the building’s exterior and curious to investigate it further, she was led to the hotel parking lot. As she stepped into the hotel lobby, she wasn’t disappointed. The interior designer had done this hotel up brilliantly. Everything around her was fresh and beautiful. The paintings were gorgeous.

When the front office personnel noticed her walking around and taking everything in, they asked if she needed any assistance. Janet was upfront that she had no idea of this new addition to the town and with the hotel staff’s permission, she checked out the hotel’s different facilities, which left her with a desire to be part of this new establishment.

Before leaving, Janet thanked the front office personnel for indulging her. She inquired if the hotel was hiring. In no time the general manager was standing in front of Janet. They exchanged greetings and introductions and Janet complimented the hotel and shared her desire to be part of the establishment. The general manager asked her if she had worked in the hotel industry before. With confidence, she shared with him her over two decades of hotel experience in varying capacities, from the front office to management, and the different chains she worked for. He seemed impressed and asked Janet to forward her resumé to him, and his parting words were: “… the different departments will fight over you and I’m sure the housekeeping would love to have you.”

After this encounter, Janet called me rather baffled. She couldn’t wrap her head around what had transpired. We talked for quite a while and when I asked her what she was wearing, it became clear that her attire might have been the culprit. Janet was dressed for a leisurely drive and not a potential job interview. Her more relaxed outfit did not reflect her proven hotel experience in managerial roles, and unfortunately gave the impression that she may not have been qualified for anything beyond housekeeping for such a beautiful hotel.

Studies on human relationships have shown time and time again that first impressions matter. They state that within the first seventeen seconds of people meeting us, first impressions are developed. Fifty-five percent of that impression is based on our appearance, thirty-eight percent is based on our tone of voice, and seven percent is based on the words we use. Once people have perceived us to be something we may not necessarily be, it takes weeks and even months to undo the damage. It is wise to put our best foot forward at all times, to avoid the burden of rewriting the image that people get of us from an initial meeting.

Our appearance influences how powerful, successful, smart, or trustworthy people think we are. The good news is, it is largely us who can decide what impressions people have of us. We do so by managing our behaviour or how we present ourselves.

For example, attending a funeral dressed in clothing that is more ideal for a nightclub can make us look disrespectful and inconsiderate. This may not reflect how we actually feel about the sombre event we are attending.

What do we want other people’s first and lasting impression of us to be? This is an important question we need to ask ourselves before we step out of our homes, especially when we are going into spaces where we will meet people of social significance to us. Do we come across as angry and impolite? Are we rude, or seem rude because we have an impatient look about us? What does our attire say about us? Do we dress for the occasion, or do we wear the clothes within easy reach of our closets - even when they are inappropriate?

In each of these situations, it is best to err on the side of pleasantries and grow positive networks, rather than building on negativity. When in doubt, consult with family members or friends. Those closest to us know us well enough and could be the best ones to help in improving those first impressions of ourselves.